Loving Butch Ladies — Tagg Mag

The reason why I really don’t “just date males”

“if you are online dating a woman whom looks like men, then the trend is to just date men?” We femmes notice this concern way too often. Approved, more often than not we become this concern it is simply some jerk looking to get under the skin we have, but since amazing as it may seem, there are people just who look you inside vision and get because they really ask yourself.

The best, most tongue-in-cheek answer is easily summed up in two terms: no vaginas. But people just who ask this question appear to have disregarded what the word “lesbian” ways, thus I ‘m going to go a tiny bit more. I recognize that we now have numerous connection and gender dynamics, but I am able to just talk considering my private destination. Though i mightn’t say my girl “looks like one,” she has short hair, wears flannel, and absolutely features a rough and tumble way about her that makes it rather challenging imagine the girl in a dress.

The minute somebody requires the reason why I don’t merely go out guys, they’ve been telling me personally they’ve no comprehension or understanding of what it way to end up being a lady. This can be a man whose idea of ladies happens to be limited to exactly what he sees in alcohol commercials, or it would likely also be a woman who may have maybe not made the effort to recognize the wonderful edges of her own womanliness. People who have these concerns are saying that their particular concept of a woman is based exclusively on appearance and also the mannerisms of June Cleaver.

There are plenty of complexities to becoming a lady and a lot of complexities to loving one. Ladies are deep and mystical animals saturated in twists and changes and understated beauty. We change from playing soccer in mud to purchasing during the shopping mall, from composing poetry within spaces to moshing at a death metal show, from publically whining to driving down all emotions and shutting our selves off to the planet. We now have limitless versions of our correct selves.

In addition to that, women can get in touch with each other throughout the greatest of degrees. Whether the audience is close friends in secondary school or long-term close lovers, females can start on their own up to their center and look until they find yours. Along with all that, ladies can love like not one person otherwise around.

By saying that because my gf has actually short-hair I should likely be operational to matchmaking guys, these people are proclaiming that they’ve got forgotten about every one of these other parts of loving a lady. By proclaiming that because I really like my gf’s tomboy attributes i might end up being happier with a “real guy,” they are stating that every guy whoever sweetheart takes on recreations and does not like shopping covertly really wants to end up being with a man.

If we placed standard ideas of masculine and girly on two stops of a spectrum, many of us fall someplace in between. Truly community, the  mass media, additionally the concept of “traditional roles” that set guys on a single part and women on the other. My personal range do not have men. I’m a lesbian, and being attracted to the greater number of “masculine” end of the range does not change that. At their core, when someone requires the question, “In case you are dating a lady whom looks like one, subsequently the trend is to simply date men?” whatever’re really saying is, “You’re matchmaking a female and she will not fall in my own minimal mildew and mold. It generates me personally uneasy therefore really does your own sexuality. Date a person.”

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